So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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