after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
