I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
