Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
