Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
