I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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