Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
