On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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