before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize