He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
