I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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