I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
