That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think i got beer on your cat.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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