Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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