but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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