Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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