Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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