Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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