Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
