i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
