im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
