The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
