I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
