i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
