Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
