I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
