i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just found a bag of teeth...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
