it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
