Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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