I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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