every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This house was built for laser tag.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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