How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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