I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
4 words: hood of his car
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize