What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
