I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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