Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize