i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
