I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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