I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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