Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
