WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
