if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
