Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
