I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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