Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize