I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Everything about him screamed your future.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
