from now on my penis is your penis
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
