Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
