it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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