my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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