"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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