I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize