this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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