Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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