Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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